Confrontation and a Couch

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN

...all you want to do is go to the person who usually comforts you, except this time he's the reason you're hurting?

...your whole life comes crashing down in the span of a couple weeks?

...the person you love most in this world is, in this very moment, lying in bed with another woman in the house you bought together and planned your future in?

...you're physically sick inside about the betrayal of the person who promised you he would never do such a thing?

...he threw you out like trash and replaced you while you're left wondering what the hell happened and what you did wrong?

...you just want the comfort of his hug, but it will never be the same again?

...the tears he used to wipe away are now tears that he caused?

...the name you were once proud to have becomes a name you despise?

...the future you planned and dreamed of together becomes just that - a dream?

...you want so desperately to go back to the way they were, but you know deep down in your heart that they never can and never will?

...you're alone with your thoughts and all you can think about is what she has that you don't?

...you blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault but somehow feels like it is?

...life as you know is forever divided into 2 chapters - before and after?

before and after c.

before and after betrayal.

I asked myself all of these questions in a journal entry on July 2, 2024. It was late at night - 10:44pm to be exact - and I was in the spare bedroom at my parent's house, plagued with insomnia. Nothing was certain anymore. I didn't know what was going to happen to me, to my marriage, or if I would even still have a marriage. I didn't know how I was going to move forward. All I could think about was the fact that my life would never be the same again. (If you're new here, please read this post first, followed by this one, in order to follow the events unfolding here.)

I really didn't have a plan for the confrontation with C. I had no idea how I was going to approach it. But, in the end, he kind of ended up deciding for me. I had left my parent's house to go back to my own home on July 5th. When I got to our house, he wasn't there. Apparently, he had rented a U-haul truck so he could pick up a couch that his friend (or so he said) was giving to him. Well, I guess that K also tagged along on this excursion. When I called to ask when he was coming home, he asked if it was okay if he brought K over, and he said that I could "show her around the house." Was he SERIOUS right now? Acting like she didn't damn well know her way around the house already? I started to panic, because I did NOT want to see this girl. I had no idea what I was going to do. I told him that I didn't feel comfortable with her at the house considering she was the source of our current issues. But I really didn't trust him not to bring her, because he had a mind of his own.

I knew I wanted someone to be at the house in case he did bring her, but I really didn't have anyone to call other than my in-laws. Again, I was really close with them, so I didn't think it was that awkward to do. I called my mother-in-law frantically and just blurted out everything - that C had been cheating on me with K I had proof he was possibly going to bring her over to the house I didn't want to see her I wanted them to come over I needed somebody to keep me sane. The only downside of telling her first was that she must have called him right away and told him I knew, because next thing he was calling me. I honestly don't remember that phone conversation. I remember having it, and I remember where I was standing, but I don't recall what either of us said. His mom and stepdad showed up at our house before he did. Thankfully, when he pulled in with the U-haul, the passenger seat was empty. But the sequence of events after he got out was just weird. He didn't say he was sorry, didn't come talk to me, didn't even acknowledge me. He just said something about how he had to get the couch unloaded because the U-haul rental was due in just a few hours. So he and his stepdad unloaded the couch while I stood with my arms crossed, silently watching.

Looking back now, the fact that the U-haul rental was more important than his broken-hearted wife should have been a red flag. I mean, what's the worst thing that happens if it's late - you pay a late fee? I would like to think that if I had been him in that situation, I would have went straight to my partner and fallen at their feet apologizing. But he did not appear phased or bothered in the least. I finally said something to him - I think I asked him if he was going to say anything to me. I remember him saying casually "I don't know what you want me to say Hannah. There's nothing I can say or do that could ever make up for what I did." He said this as he was unloading the couch. Didn't even look me in the eye. I remember there being a heated discussion that was kind of awkward because his mom and stepdad were still standing there. I was crying. Not once did he stop what he was doing to come over to me. The whole time this was happening, he was messing around with this stupid big brown couch. At some point, they left, and I had to follow him to the U-haul place to return the truck. That was a very awkward ride back with him. It was basically just me crying. I remember us talking too, but I have no memory of what was said. And things got even weirder when we got home.

I think it was pretty late by the time we got back from returning the U-haul, so we went to bed not too much later. He was sleeping in the spare bedroom, which is where he had been sleeping anyway, and I was in the master. At some point, I went to the spare bedroom for something. Maybe I didn't want to be alone or maybe I was going to get one of the pets; I really don't recall. But when I turned the doorknob, the door wouldn't budge. The knob was turning, so it was clearly unlocked. I pushed against the door with my body weight and found the cause - he had blockaded the door with a nightstand. I was so confused by this behavior. I asked him why he had done that, and he told me that it was because he was afraid I was going to "stab him in his sleep." What. The. Actual. F**k. I am not a violent or aggressive person, so I had no idea where he was coming up with this. Obviously I was upset with him, but I would never have even considered doing something like that - I'm not trying to spend the rest of my life in jail!

Things continued to get even more unsettling. The next morning, C asked me if he could go fishing with K and their coworker B. I was absolutely shocked. I had literally just confronted my husband the day before, and now he was trying to go fishing with the girl he cheated on me with?! No way in hell was that happening. He kept badgering me about it. I finally told him he could go on the condition that I also went. He texted in their group chat that I wanted to go. I saw K's response with my own eyes - she said "Does Hannah even like fishing? Or is this just another instance of her trying to control you?" Now I was absolutely raging. I'm CONTROLLING because I don't want my husband to go fishing with the girl he has been cheating on me with? What is even happening here? I couldn't believe my husband had the audacity to ask me if he could go in the first place, or the audacity of K to suggest that I was being controlling. But looking back now, it's very clear that he had been painting a picture of me to K so she wouldn't have qualms about messing around with a married man. He had to convince her that it was okay for him to cheat, because I was so toxic and abusive and controlling. Apparently I was also manipulative and evil and selfish. Oh, and a pathological liar, a psycho, a tyrant, and a monster. These are all things he actually said to me (thankfully not all on the same day - I don't know if I could have handled that!).

Next on my list was to confront K. Now, I was definitely not going to do this in person. But I did get her number from his phone, and texted her the following message (verbatim) on July 6th:

Hi, K.

This is C's wife Hannah. I'm not sure exactly what all he has told you about our relationship but there are 2 sides to every story. I am not anywhere near perfect. Neither is he. I genuinely had no idea he was so unhappy as we had just purchased our first home and discussed starting our family here in the next year or so. Unhappy or not, that does not excuse what he did AND what you did. You knew he was married, regardless of whatever issues we were having at the time. You went into another woman's home, slept in another woman's bed, walked around naked, and had no problem f**king another woman's husband. That is wrong on so many levels. The main blame here lies with him, however, you did play a part in destroying our marriage. I ask that you please stop communicating with him from this point forward unless it is regarding work which can be done on his work phone.

The sad part about all of this is you seemed like a genuinely nice person from how C described you, and I was hoping we could've potentially been friends. If there's one lesson you learn from this, I hope it's that you think about what you're doing and consider how your actions affect other people. I have done things that hurt C and I know that, and he has to me as well, but I did NOT deserve to be lied to and betrayed in what was supposed to be our forever home. While my 90-year-old grandmother was wasting away at the hospital, I might add.

And for the record, YOU deserve better than to be with someone who is willing to cheat on his wife. Because if he's willing to lie to me and cheat on me, then he'd do it to you too.

Best of luck to you.

-Hannah

I don't really know what I was hoping to accomplish by texting someone who knowingly slept with a married man, but I couldn't stay silent. I had to say my piece. I tried to be somewhat respectful, even though what I really wanted to say was "YOU F**KING B***H." I actually did write her a letter later that was more along those lines. I never actually sent it but it was cathartic to write at the time. Maybe I'll share that later. Anyway, you might be wondering what her response was. I kid you not, her response was "You're so funny 🤠". I have no idea what the cowboy emoji was supposed to mean. But then again, she was 5 years younger than me, so who knows...kids these days, right? Obviously she's not a kid, but she was definitely acting like one.

So, there you have it. That was how everything went down. I hated that stupid big brown couch. Actually, it ended up being really comfy, which was kind of ironic. And I still don't really know where the couch even came from. I personally think it was from K's house. But, it's one of the many mysteries that I will most likely never solve. The mystery that I did have to solve, however, was this - what the heck was I going to do next?